Want to Win Big? Never Split the Difference Reveals Proven Tactics to Get More in Every Deal!
Negotiation is an art, and Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, has mastered it like no one else. His book, Never Split the Difference, offers powerful techniques that can help you get more in any deal—whether you’re negotiating a salary, buying a car, or even navigating personal situations. These proven tactics aren’t about compromising; they’re about getting what you truly want.
In this blog, we’ll dive deep into the core strategies from Voss’s book and show you how to apply them in your everyday negotiations. These techniques are not just for high-stakes situations—they can be used by anyone looking to improve their negotiating skills and get ahead.
1. The Power of “No”
One of the most surprising lessons in Never Split the Difference is the power of the word “no.” Voss argues that saying “no” isn’t the end of a negotiation—it’s the beginning of real progress. When people say “no,” they feel safe, in control, and ready to engage in a more open conversation.
Instead of seeing “no” as a roadblock, Voss suggests using it as a tool to steer the conversation in your favour. Rather than pushing for a “yes,” which often leads to quick concessions, you can strategically guide the negotiation by allowing the other party to say “no” first, giving you more leverage to achieve your desired outcome.
2. Tactical Empathy: Understanding Their World
One of the most effective strategies Voss teaches is “tactical empathy.” This is the art of understanding the emotions and mindset of the person you’re negotiating with. It’s not just about acknowledging their perspective—it’s about truly understanding it and using that understanding to shape your approach.
By validating the other person’s feelings or concerns, you build rapport and create a sense of trust. When people feel heard, they are more likely to make concessions or agree to terms that favour you. It’s about showing that you care enough to consider their point of view, even if you don’t agree with it.
3. Mirroring: The Secret to Getting Information
Mirroring is a simple but powerful technique that Voss emphasizes throughout the book. Mirroring involves repeating the last few words that the other person says in a neutral tone. This encourages them to elaborate further and reveal more information.
For example, if someone says, “I’m not sure we can go that low on price,” you could respond with, “You’re not sure we can go that low?” This tactic often causes the other party to clarify their position, giving you more insight into their thinking and revealing potential weaknesses or opportunities.
4. The “Accusation Audit”: Addressing Objections Before They Arise
Before jumping into the negotiation, Voss suggests you address any potential objections the other party might have—before they even voice them. This is called an “accusation audit.” It involves acknowledging the fears, doubts, or hesitations that the other person may have, and addressing them upfront in a way that diffuses tension.
For example, if you’re negotiating a contract, you might say, “I know you might be concerned about the price or our ability to meet deadlines, and I want to reassure you that we’ve thought about those issues thoroughly.” By tackling their concerns before they even express them, you gain the upper hand and create a smoother path toward agreement.
5. “The Black Swan”: Discovering the Unexpected
Voss introduces the concept of “Black Swans”—unexpected pieces of information that can dramatically change the course of negotiations. These are hidden facts, motivations, or conditions that, once uncovered, can give you the advantage and turn the deal in your favour.
To uncover Black Swans, you need to ask open-ended questions, dig deeper into the other party’s motivations, and always be alert to clues that might reveal something important. A single Black Swan could be the key to unlocking a better deal or achieving your negotiation goals.
6. Calibrated Questions: Leading the Conversation
Calibrated questions are a core technique that Voss uses to guide conversations in a way that makes the other party feel in control, while still steering them toward your desired outcome. These are open-ended questions that begin with phrases like “How” or “What,” designed to get the other person to think and problem-solve with you.
For instance, instead of asking, “Can you lower the price?” you might ask, “How can we make this work within our budget?” This technique shifts the focus from you making demands to both parties working together to find a solution. It makes the negotiation feel collaborative rather than adversarial.
7. Bending Reality: The Power of Anchoring
Anchoring is another strategy that Chris Voss highlights in Never Split the Difference. Anchoring is the psychological phenomenon where the first number put on the table in a negotiation serves as a reference point for all subsequent offers. This means that if you start with a high, but reasonable, offer, the other party will likely adjust their expectations based on that figure.
Voss advises setting your anchor early to establish the parameters of the deal. Even if you’re aiming for a lower price or better terms, starting high can leave room for concessions that still end up in your favour.
8. The “F-word” in Negotiation: Fair
In negotiations, the word “fair” can be both a powerful and dangerous tool. People often use the word “fair” to manipulate the other party into agreeing to their terms. Voss suggests that when someone says, “I think this is fair,” you should pause and respond with, “How is that fair?” This challenges their perception of fairness and puts the focus back on you, allowing you to negotiate from a position of strength.
9. Silence: The Powerful Tool You’re Not Using Enough
Silence is one of the most powerful tools in negotiation, yet it’s often overlooked. After making a point or asking a question, don’t be afraid to let silence hang in the air. This can make the other person feel uncomfortable, pushing them to respond, often revealing more information or offering better terms just to fill the void.
As Voss says, silence forces the other person to break the tension, and in many cases, they’ll offer you more than you expected simply to avoid the discomfort.
10. Conclusion: Never Settle for Less
Never Split the Difference isn’t just about negotiation—it’s about getting what you want and learning how to do it with confidence, strategy, and finesse. By applying Chris Voss’s tactics, you’ll be better equipped to win big in every deal. Whether you’re negotiating a salary, finalising a contract, or simply trying to make your case, these proven strategies will help you achieve the outcomes you desire.
If you’re ready to elevate your negotiation game, start using these tactics today—and watch how they transform your ability to get more out of every deal.